The Chronicles of Alex

I believe thank you notes are an art made of love and appreciation that has gotten lost behind screens. You can send or receive them so easily now though; I mean texts and emails are almost instant! No wondering when the note will arrive in another’s mailbox if it even makes it there. Though, I think the easiest thank you note to deliver but the hardest to compose is one to yourself. It’s hard to thank yourself and appreciate all you do for YOU. Unfortunately, it’s so much easier to focus on what you messed up or what you didn’t do. You don’t have to write one like I did, but I dare you to say thank you to yourself today (and every other day if you’d like).

To Me – 

This is a note you have written many times to many people with genuine gratitude. A note that was instilled into you at a very young age for birthday or Christmas gifts or any time someone thought of you. A note you came to write instinctually, one that became, “Thank you for spending time with me today!” or “Your smile made my day. Thank you!” on a sticky note or playing card or via text. Yet, you’ve never written yourself one. You never even tell yourself thank you…

I think this is long overdue, sweet girl. I think you deserve to thank yourself for everything you’ve done in this life, so let’s get to it. 

First and foremost, I want to thank you for not giving up. I know your brain works overtime, and it hasn’t been made easier by life lifing as it does. I appreciate that you are still around to laugh with people you love, smile at strangers as you pass, and bake treats for anyone who will eat them – treats that aren’t made with odd substitutes, because you couldn’t bring yourself to even touch sugar or flour. I’m not sure if I should thank you for carrying around a carpool karaoke mic, but you have fun with that, so I let it slide. I know it’s not easy for you but think about everything you’ve overcome… sit and really think about it, babe. You beat an eating disorder. You have accomplished everything you set your mind to – look where you have degrees from and the hobbies you pursue. Like why do you learn languages for fun? You learned to draw as a way to meditate, because actual meditation drives you up a wall. You do the things you love passionately and without remorse. Keep doing it.

Secondly, I want to thank you for the effort you put into to heal – physically and mentally. I don’t recognize who you used to be. You were scared of everything and everyone – even yourself. You wouldn’t speak unless spoken to and never told anyone how you actually felt or what you were thinking. I am proud of you stepping outside of your comfort zone on every front. You were brave enough to change and to chase your dreams. Literally chase them. Remember breaking 8 hours in the 50 (mile)?? Remember hitting calorie goals like your life (quite literally) depended on it?? Remember how a doctor told you you’d never do x, y, or z again?? You are so strong, Alex. I thank you for accepting growth and training the muscles needed for it.

You are unapologetically you (usually), which I’ve come to admire. You don’t care if people talk to you again or if they find you kind of weird, because you are happy with who you are. You enjoy your hobbies, and the people who let you be you. I think that is really cool. And since I could write an in depth letter saying thank you for so many things, here is a simple list…

Thank you for:

• Healing your relationship with food and exercise.
• Talking to people when you need help. 
• Learning that you are the most important person in your life.
• Realizing you cannot make people stay, and that’s not your fault. Probably better off for it. 
• Saying no and meaning it.
• Choosing what YOU want to do not what other people want you or expect you to do. 
• Continuing to love people. Maybe not romantically, but I won’t force you to do that. 
• Doing what you love.
• Being unapologetically yourself.
• Never giving up.
• Being the best big sister you can be and always trying to be better.
• Showing up when the people you love ask.
• Never hesitating to send the, “I have an idea.” text even though it is everyone’s least favorite text to receive.
• Embracing discomfort.
• Actually fucking enjoying life and living it!

Alex, you have become one goddamn strong young woman. One that trips but gets back up stronger. You realized this is your life and no one else’s, which I will thank you for until you take your last breath. Never stop being you, girl, because there is only one YOU. I don’t know many people who decide to do everything you’ve decided to do, but I am glad you’ve found people who will go balls to the wall with you every step of the way. And with all of this, again, thank you ❤ 

AMS